Thursday 24 October 2013

View From The Working Class

Unseasonably warm at the top of the wood
An azure sky on this Spring day
The lush Lancashire hills vie for attention
Amid the mighty oaks barring their way

An estate of detached houses across a busy road
Where once stood a reservoir to slake folk's thirst
The gated community now perched on this hill
The pampered haves always putting themselves first

Audis and 4x4s driven by suits and dealers
They own the roads in their own corrupt mind
Selfish, arrogant, narcissistic and soul-less
This beautiful view wasted on their kind

Bay horses graze in the middle distance
The sun on their backs, noses in grass
A deep breath taken while savouring this moment
This view expressed from the working class

Thursday 17 October 2013

Search Your Soul

Ten months passed on another year
A chill in the air now Autumn is here
October's leaves lie brown and sodden
Limp and lifeless on paths well trodden

Golds and yellows in rustling trees
Squirrels gathering nuts before the freeze
A time for hibernation as cold winds blow
Many seeking warmth by their fire's orange glow

Melancholy descends as daylight wanes
Reflective thoughts of losses and gains
Comfort in wisdom, once bitten, twice shy
Never too old to learn, to love, to cry

Closed wounds, open eyes, open arms, open mind
Gravitating to those who are affable and kind
Locked doors to happiness, but still aiming to please
Try searching your soul, you will find the keys

Sunday 13 October 2013

Ozzy Osbourne School Speech Gone Awry

During my last year at high school I studied for exams in 7 subjects.
Well, when I say "studied", my 2 years in Technical Drawing classes were largely spent staring into space, throwing paper planes made out of my crap drawings at classmates; wondering why my beloved Manchester City FC  were sliding towards relegation (how times change) and generally not understanding the whole concept of technical drawing.

I mostly enjoyed the English Language classes. I was taught by Mr Cockett (insert your own jokes) and he wasn't a bad old stick. Part of the exam was a spoken word  section where the pupil had to conduct a talk on a subject of their choice in front of the class. My classmates had already read on such life changing topics as Culture Club, the Rubik Cube and microwave ovens

The pupils had 2 attempts at a talk,  mock one then the important one for marks towards the final exam. I decided to go all "junior scientist" for the first one and give a talk on the subjest of eclipses, a more nerdish topic it would have been harder to find.

The comprehensive school bullies were lining up to chin me after that one. My talk on this subject was so boring I fell like beating myself up halfway through it. The feedback I got from my class mates were along the lines of "mate, what was all that shit about?"

I decided my second attempt for the final mark would be on a more interesting subject. However, I over compensated ever so slightly and decided to give a talk on...Ozzy Osbourne!

I kept my plans under wraps until my big day. My research was conducted by reading through copies of  Sounds, NME and Kerrang magazines. Around this time Ozzy had become infamous for various atrocities far too gruesome for a daytime audience so I decided to share them in explicit detail with Mr Cockett and my 15 years old classmates. I was determined to lose the “boring” tag for good.
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The class reacted with a mixture of laughter, gasps and hands in front of mouths. Undeterred, I continued to the end. As I returned to my seat I glanced behind me to see a speechless looking Mr Cockett taking his place again in front of the class. All he could utter was that he "distanced himself" from the content my talk.

Later,  the feedback I received from the class was a mixture of  stunned admiration, scorn and the odd "well you've f***ed that up haven't you mate". I was marked down on my talk but did pass the overall English Language exam with a "B" mark.

If it wasn't for Ozzy and my own immaturity I may have got my only "A" mark in my exams.  He’s got a lot to answer for that Osbourne!


Friday 11 October 2013

Rosary Beads Miracle of County Wexford

Most people are interested in mystery. Events that occur with no logical explanation. Well, allow me tell you the true story of the rosary beads miracle of County Wexford in Ireland.

My maternal family roots lie in the rural "sunny south east" of the Emerald Isle. It is a beautiful part of the world, rich in history, rich country air, pleasing landscapes, smells of burning turf and people always ready for the craic. A few years ago something happened here which defied all known reason and is still astounding a local community in it's wonder. 

My mother's cousin (my auntie) and her husband live in County Wexford and are people of devout Roman Catholic faith. They are a delightful, warm and friendly couple. One night a few years ago Mam's cousin used the rosary beads for prayers as usual then retired to bed with her husband and left the beads on a bedside table. This was a routine occurrence. The following morning when they both awoke, the beads were missing from the table. After a short time they noticed the beads were wrapped around the light fitting above the bed.

They both searched their thoughts for an explanation. Neither of them are practical jokers and they were alone in the house when the beads were placed on the bedside table. Nothing disturbed them during the night, the beads were on the table, then when they woke up the same beads were tightly wrapped around the light fitting. Once they had time to think, they left the beads where they were and started to tell a few people what had happened. Unsurprisingly, the locals wanted to see the beads so they have stayed where they are to this day.

A year or so after the event, my mother visited her cousin and during the stay asked to say a few prayers alone in the bedroom with the beads. Nothing life changing happened to her but she has said that she had an unusual spiritual feeling during her prayers. I haven't personally visited the house in question but I have seen photographs and was surprised to see just how tightly wound the beads are with the crucifix at the top.

Earlier this year I spoke on local radio in Manchester about this occurrence and the presenter was mildly flippant with some of his remarks including that it all sounded "a bit Father Ted" and he "wasn't sure I would be happy with a procession of people marching into my bedroom" but I think I got my point across that this was genuine and, so far, no one has found a rational reason how or why this happened.